everyday joys.

earlier today, i was rummaging around in my old posts and i realized how many loose ends i have left from this summer.

one of those being that i was crazy in telling you that i want to run a marathon. i now do crossfit three times a week (on a good week) and its HARD. i barely made it through my 5k. my roommate, amy jean, had to literally push me to finish. (she’s so great. i can only hope to be a disciplined as her one day.) anyways, if i ever do run a marathon it’ll have to be someday waaaay down the road. sigh. i’m still shaking my head at my naivety. 

in the meantime, it’s the end of february in college station and i think we’ve encountered all four seasons in the span of 29 days. last week we had a gloriously warm day where i spent basically all day outside and have gotten a head start on this summer! but now that it’s spring, there has been a severe migration of mosquito eaters. i hate those things. i know, i know! they don’t hurt me, but they’re GIANT. and they look like flying daddy long legs! TERRIFYING. we have caught one on our fly trap, but that wasn’t the intention. our house is slightly infested with fruit flies right now. if you’ve never had fruit flies, you are a lucky person. THEY SUCK. ugh. we’ve caught four, though! :)

now that i’ve succeeded in sufficiently boring you with our lovely bug issues, i’ll go ahead and just bring some things to light.

i told you a couple of posts ago that i would let you in on my relationship with my boyfriend. i won’t spend much time on this, but i have successfully been through my first boyfriend and then my first break up. it was rough, but ultimately it was for the best. Jesus  taught me a lot through it all, heck, He’s still teaching me. 

in March of 2011, i committed myself and my emotions to the Lord. i told him that if it was just going to be me and Him for the rest of my life (without a boyfriend or husband), that i wanted to be okay with that. i was mentally preparing myself for a life of singleness, but more than just preparing, i wanted to be happy with that if that was where the Lord had me.

once my ex and i broke up, i knew it was for the better. i had told Jesus that if my boyfriend wasn’t the man for me then i implored him to take him from me. and lo and behold, about a week and a half later, we were no longer together. there’s a lot of peace and security i found in knowing that i was in the will of God.

i know now that the time with my boyfriend was a test from the Lord. He was asking, “Did you really mean it? Are you really okay with it being me and you, forever?” i have to answer that, at the moment, i didn’t mean it whole-heartedly. i don’t think i understood what i was committing to Him. 

so here i am, almost a year later and so much more aware of what it means to be with Jesus for the rest of my life. He is so consistent. He pursues me without fail. He always welcomes me back when i mess up my life. He is so loving and so compassionate. i love that He puts us through tough, scary, and vulnerable things because, in the end, we come out of those things trusting him more and knowing more about Him and ourselves. 

i don’t regret much from my relationship, which i think is a good thing. him and i are on good terms and see each other occasionally. i think what i learned most from our relationship is to guard my heart. no one is going to guard it for me. and in reality, my heart belongs to the One who has redeemed my life. when he is ready to share my heart with a human guy, i will be too.

i am so blessed to go through life with Jesus. 

What is this? Another post so soon? Could I actually be on top of things? Without classes to go to, or homework to work on, I have more free time than I know what to do with! And I don’t want to turn into a couch potato watching tv and playing on facebook all day. I do so much better when I have a task at hand and a goal to accomplish. So what do I do? I convince my roommates to run a 5k with me. I am so excited. Running a 5k is one step closer to running a 10k, which is one step closer to a marathon, which is one step closer to a triathlon. Holy cow, I think I just discovered that I want to run a marathon and do a triathlon…I’m not sure how I feel about this discovery. But how awesome would it feel to know that my body could handle that much intensity?

My body was designed to be used, not to be idle. And as a woman of God, I am called to honor God with my body because it is a temple (1 Cor. 6:19-20), and, more specifically, I am not to let my hands taste idleness (Proverbs 31:27). When I don’t use my body for His glory, I feel dirty and useless. I love the high I get from being productive and using my time wisely. I love knowing that I worked towards something. That I got my hands dirty. That I broke a sweat. Hahaha…I laugh because, if you had talked to me about his a year ago, you would be talking to an entirely different person.

One year ago, I hated anything that required me to move. Wow, that sounds lazy.  I hated sweating and breathing hard. I was fine with where I was physically. But now, now I crave the sweat. I crave the expansion in my lungs; I long to feel the blood pumping through my body and rushing to my face. I’m addicted to the tingle in my muscles as they scream joyously throughout my body, rejoicing at the chance to play. I would, by no means, ever claim to be an “active” person, but I am much more active than I used to be, and now, with a tangible goal to work on and a community to help me accomplish it, I might meet it, yet. :)

I should have taken control of this a long time ago. I regret waiting until now. But I can’t sit around, feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in regret. Where is that going to get me? If I want something I’ve never had, I have to do something I’ve never done to get it. I’m ready for people to see me and see Christ, not how I struggle with the sin of gluttony. I want my body to be something that glorifies God. I want my life to be a reflection of Christ.

yes, i realize that the last post was about 3 months ago. but so what, right? at least i have a life, right? okay, maybe i don’t. shut up, maybe i’m just lazy:)

but in those 3 months, there have been many changes in my life. one: oh, hey guys, i turned 21 in july! time to party it uppp! two: i was faced with a major decision at the end of july concerning the rest of my life; would i take out thousands of dollars in loans in order to go to college this semester? or do i choose obedience and push my college career back even further? after an intense dive into the scriptures, i decided to not take out loans, therefore, i am not going to school this semester. three: for the first time in my life, i am in a relationship with an amazing guy. (and that would be my first boyfriend. ever.)

but just so we’re clear, i don’t “party it up” all the time. in fact, i found out it doesn’t take much alcohol before i start feeling it; and no one will let me live it down. oh well, i guess it’s a good thing i can’t hold liquor. :)

secondly, i thought i would hit up the reasoning behind not going to school and why i didn’t take out loans. it’s not very complicated. in fact, when it comes down to it, it’s actually quite simple. however, it is extremely bold. it screams in the face of the popular way of thinking. i’m sorry if i offend you, but know that you choose to believe whatever you want; i will be speaking truth, because it will be coming straight from the bible. so, if you can’t handle the truth, stop reading now.

however, if you’ve chosen to continue with me, thanks for sticking it out. i’m excited to show you what the Lord showed me about obeying him in all things.

growing up, my dad always quoted the bible saying that, God doesn’t like it when we borrow money, or that we aren’t supposed to co-sign. and i believed him, just like any daddy’s girl would. but it wasn’t until this summer that i was faced with where the rubber met the road on this principle. so, i did what i knew to do. i challenged my father and went to the source (its the only challenge he welcomes). i searched the scriptures for an answer, all along knowing what i would find. so here goes, this is what i found:

(please note, i am just sharing what Jesus showed me, i could be wrong. it wouldn’t be the first time, haha.)

Proverbs 22:4 ”Humility and fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.” —this says to me, that what i strive for as a humans on a daily basis is only fully achieved when i am humble and fear the Lord. so okay, obedience. got it.

Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rule over the poor, the borrower is servant to the lender.” —this verse is definitely one of the more tangible verses Jesus showed me. i don’t believe we should be a servant to anything but Christ and the reason i believe that is found in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” —if it isn’t clear in that verse, i don’t know how much clearer you can get. in a combination of both Prov. 22:7 and Matt. 6:24, you see that i can’t serve money and God, it’s one or the other, and by borrowing money, i become a servant, ultimately, to money. so choose wisely.

recap:

true obedience, through humility and the fear of the Lord, will bring wealth, honor and life.

what am i obeying? the choice to be God’s servant, not money’s.

there is one more point that i want to make: consequences of disobeying.

1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is the root of all evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” — if i decide to give into my flesh and disobey, which is my nature, i open up a dirty, rotten, stinky can of worms. i delve into loving something other than my most gracious Creator, and consequently, i lose the only thing in my life worth pursuing-Jesus.

Hebrews 13:5, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.’” —be content with Jesus. simple as that. trust in Him to provide. loving money just shows you don’t trust Him:)

i hope and pray that this post was Jesus talking through me. i can only hope to be vessel in His plan.

i was, and still am to an extent, very hesitant to talk about this because it is such a touchy subject. but i’m glad have a chance to speak truth. take from this what you will, but now you know the reasoning.

as for the third point, that of my boyfriend, that will have to wait for another time:)

here it is the middle of june and the temperature has already exceeded one hundred degrees multiple times. yes. summer is upon us. and with summer comes so many favorite things! swimming, late mornings, tanning, reading books and oh, we can’t forget the beach!

this summer is a tad different from the past few summers of my life. pfft, who am i kidding? it’s very different. for the past three summers, i have been a part of pine cove christian camps. they have been some of the most difficult, but most favorite summers in my life. Jesus is so good in that He uses a place like pine cove to grow and mold His children to become more like Him. this summer, i am not back at the place i love so much because the Lord i love even more has greater plans for me, whether i see them now, or later down the road.

here’s my life as of now: 

summer job, eh..in the works. 

summer goal, check, but have yet to meet it.

summer hobby, check. i’m almost done!

as a lot of you know, i had a job at the House of Blues in downtown Houston this summer, thanks to my wonderful sister, Rachel. unfortunately, the job did not pan out in the way i hoped.

in the begining, i was not expecting to get the job. i figured rachel could get me an interview, but i didn’t think they would hire me because i don’t have any experience in the waiting industry. but when i went in for my interview, i sat down with one of the managers and she said, “well, if Rachel thinks your cool, I think you’re cool. You’re hired.” i was blown away. i had a job! i had a cool job! the thought of making between $40-$200 a night thrilled me! i was gonna be rollin in the dough, man! yeah, i was super nervous. the house of blues was everything i wasn’t. i took a tour through the building and i could feel the demon’s presence in the rooms. it was scary. but i quickly brushed that feeling aside and made excuses of, “i’ll be making tons of money!” and, “i don’t have another choice!” and, “its a great opportunity to be a light in a dark place.”

yeah, all of those are true. and all of those are great reasons to be there. but i forgot the best reason of all and forgot to consult the gracious, compassionate Father who allows his children to make mistakes. i would have never applied at House of Blues if it wasn’t for my sister. and in between the excitement of my sister and the hype of, “Meg’s working at the HOUSE OF BLUES!” i still felt inner turmoil. i was freaking out inside.

finally after three weeks of waiting to get a shift, i work what the staff calls, “ghetto night”. yeah. it was about 30 something local Houston rappers. for 7 hours straight. you know those people that have the bass so low in their cars that you feel like you’re in their car? yeah, that what i heard for the entirety of the shift.

during the shift, so many things happened that i will not post here, but i’ll let you know that i had to compromise my standards and morals more than once. it was dirty and gross. and i wanted to blind myself after that night. i kept thinking, “Lord, do i have to be here? is this really what you want for me?” and that’s when i realized that i had not prayed about this job before accepting it. ouch. that got me thinking.

after my shift was over and i finally left the building at 1:30am, i started to walk to my car. okay, so get this, im a girl, in the middle of downtown Houston, at 1:30 in the morning. im a little freaked to say the least. so i am focused on getting to my car and getting out of downtown. well, as im walking, there is this little mexican dude and two chicks walking behind me. im not paying them much attention, but i do note that the guy is talking kinda loud. finally i realize that the kid is talking to me. what did he want? to sell me tickets to a local rap show. HAH. he’s funny! i rejected him probably a little harsher than what was needed, but i was so over rap music.

when i finally arrive at my parking garage, to my dismay i find that the door is locked and all the driveways into the building are gated. okay. assess the situation.

meg in downtown houston by herself.

meg’s car is locked in a parking garage.

it’s 1:30 in the morning and meg’s parents live 30-45 minutes away.

it was about that time that my heart rate begins to rise. thoughts of crazy homeless people and rapists start flooding my mind. you laugh now, but at the time i was not laughing. haha. so i begin to call my sister, who live only 5 mins away. as she picks up, a security guard in the parking garage building comes to my rescue. i quickly explain what happened to my sister and head home. a happy ending to what could have been a very scary evening.

basically, after that adventure and talking to my parents, i realized that House of Blues was not where the Lord wanted me. so i quit. i know it was quick, and judge me if you want, but it was one of the scariest nights of my life. thankfully, my manager understood and let me off the hook.

conclusion: meg thought she had a cool job until she didn’t have a cool job and is now without income. yay!

more summer adventures to come!

sheseespretty:

1. Listen without interrupting. (Proverbs 18)
2. Speak without accusing. (James 1:19)
3. Give without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)
4. Pray without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)
5. Answer without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)
6. Share without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)
7. Enjoy without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)
8. Trust without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)
9. Forgive without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)
10. Promise without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)